Besides beauty, in a marriage there has to be real love and relationship. Look out for her inner beauty and qualities. Emotional love is different from real love. Move just from your feelings to functionality.

1. “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.” – Proverbs‬ ‭31:10, 30‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Look out for a woman that fears the Lord. Not that she goes to church or carries a bible or prays. A woman that fears the Lord. The person’s relationship with God is what will sustain the relationship not with you. Joseph had several chances to sleep with Potiphar’s wife but he said ‘How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God’. Potiphar would not have known, he was not the issue. Your spouse’s relationship with God will not allow the person do anything to you or against you. If you do things because you like the person, the day he/she offends you, you will react differently. You’ll want to get back at her. The fear of God makes you not do some certain things. It is better the person treats you right because of the fear of God and not because of the fear of you. Look for a woman that is ruled by the spirit of God.

2. “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” – ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Look out for a woman with a meek and quiet spirit. This just simply means a woman that is teachable. God values it so you should also value it. Does she listen to you? Can she submit to you? A help meet is a suitable and adaptable helper.

3. “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.” – ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Look out for a virtuous woman. She’ll be hard to find. Her price is more than rubies. You can’t quantify it in terms of cash. She has quality inside of her. Proverbs 31 explains who a virtuous woman is. She was not dependent on a man. She was into different businesses and with all these businesses, her home was still run well. She decides to be the best she can be. She is gifted. She has the potential and she releases it. The man was doing only one thing. You can add to what she’s doing but she’s not dependent on you. She’s so blessed that she is a supporter of her husband. She’s a purposeful woman and that makes her attractive. She has standards, she decides who she wants to spend time with, and she’s not about money or material things. You see what she values, what she puts emphasis on.

4. Proverbs 14. 

Look for a wise woman. Wisdom is described as the ability to know the truth and to do it in Matthew 7. A wise woman is one that is practicing what she knows. A woman who knows your vision and purpose. A woman who learns about things. A woman that can stimulate you mentally.

5. “She must be well respected by everyone because of the good she has done. Has she brought up her children well? Has she been kind to strangers and served other believers humbly? Has she helped those who are in trouble? Has she always been ready to do good?”‭‭ – 1 Timothy‬ ‭5:10‬ ‭NLT‬

Look for a hospitable woman. A woman that can take care of people and is friendly. Remember she will be the one running the home and raising your children. A woman that can learn new things.

6. Marry a whole woman.Not a woman that is hurting or has low self esteem or one still holding unto a bad experience. A hurting person will hurt other people. A complete woman. She must have dealt with her issues first. Been healed totally by God and has let the Spirit of God help her.

7. “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” -‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Marry a trustworthy woman. In marriage there is nothing that can take the place of trust. A gracious woman will retain her honor. She wouldn’t lie. She should have no integrity issues. You should be able to take her words. Without trust you have nothing. One who lives a pure and holy life. Galatians 5. The same line you’ll cross to commit fornication is the same line you’ll cross to commit adultery. Self control and integrity are important before and after marriage. Work on the trust issues.

Marriage can be peaceful if you look for the right qualities.

Written by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo of David's Christian Center,  Lagos Nigeria.



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