WHO TO MARRY (SO SUBMISSION IS NOT BURDENSOME) ~ Precious Victor Akah

It's a known truth that no command or instruction from God is to be obeyed in the energy of the flesh, any attempt to do that will be futile. God does not expect you to obey His commands by your own strength and will alone, but with the primary help of the Holy Spirit living in you.

Now, the command to wives to submit to their husband is one of such commands that can't be carried out with human strength alone but with divine strength and grace given by the Holy Spirit. Every married woman (Christians particularly) know that submission is not easy-peasy. You have to consciously and deliberately choose to submit over and over again, even when you don't feel like it or it seems "stupid" at the moment. But you have to obey God and there is a reward for every act of obedience.

As a single lady, you probably might be thinking or saying to yourself, "What is there in submitting to my husband? Submission is not hard. I will gladly submit to my husband 100% of the time." That's fine. But you should know that God cannot instruct you to do what is doable with just your strength and will alone. You must need the help and strength of the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, why are so many married women against submission today if it's simple to do? Because it's hard and almost impossible to do with solely your strength and will.

So, as you make these assertions and decision to submit, don't leave out the Holy Spirit, or after marriage when you're faced with real situations demanding your submission as a wife, you'll start to criticize submission and look for grounds not to submit.

On this note therefore, to successfully obey this command without much struggle/difficulty in marriage, as a single lady, you need to utilize the gift of wisdom given by the Holy Spirit, to choose right (to choose the right kind of person to marry).

So, in this post, we'll beam our light on the subject of WHO TO MARRY SO SUBMISSION IS NOT BURDENSOME.

Please note: this is written purely to Christian women who are single planning or desiring to marry someday. As a Christian woman, you already know and acknowledge that you're to submit to who you marry after marriage because it is the command of the Scripture - an instruction from God to all Christian wives. We can't debate it or have our own opinions about it. Moreover, submission is not slavery, knowing and understanding this alone will prepare you to do as God has instructed.

Now, let's get into today's topic of discussion. 

WHO TO MARRY SO SUBMISSION IS NOT BURDENSOME 

1. MARRY WHO YOU CAN SUBMIT TO. 

You choose who you submit to. God gave you the liberty to choose and if you choose, you're expected to submit. So choose a man you can willingly, joyfully and easily submit to. If a guy is asking for your hand in marriage and you've observed him and noticed that he is not mentally sharp (he thinks very slow), or he is lazy and procrastinates a lot, or he is dull and delays to get things done, can you walk (partner) with such a man? Can you submit to him, move, think and take decisions at his pace? Because people barely change after marriage, and if they will, it'll often take a considerable amount of time.

How about if he is impatient and takes rash and quick decisions without thinking, or he can't pray nor fast as he should? Can you submit to his instructions? Can you follow his counsel? Can you allow him lead your home and take major decisions on behalf of your home? Think about it. 

2. MARRY WHO YOU TRUST. 

Know why we trust God and submit to Him? It's because we know that His plans for us is good and that He has good intentions towards us. So when you know that the man you're saying yes to has good intentions for you and good plans for you, you'll easily submit to him in marriage. Because everything he says to you will be coming from a place of love, from someone who wants nothing but your personal good and well-being. That will keep every doubt away and make you submit gladly.

"You'll easily submit to a man when you know he has good intentions for you; he is interested in your well-being, success and prosperity in life; and he knows his onions."

3. MARRY A MAN YOU TRUST CAN LEAD YOUR HOME AND BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU. 

You will easily submit to a man you believe has the wisdom and the right knowledge to lead your family; a man who can make right decisions for your home. So, marry someone you trust their leadership capability - who will lead you, your children and the family well.

Ever since I met and married my husband, he has remained consistent in bringing out the best in me and helping me realize my full potentials. A man who has come into your life to bring out the best in you will usually start "working" (bringing out the best in you) from when you're courting.

4. MARRY A BELIEVER WHO SHARES THE SAME FAITH AND BELIEFS WITH YOU. 

This right here plays a major role in making submission less challenging.

If you belong to a church with strong beliefs in tithing, seed sowing, fasting, praying in tongues, sacrificial giving, you really should plan to marry someone with these beliefs, especially if they're your personal beliefs too. If you should marry someone who does not believe in praying in tongues for instance, how will you both pray together? He'll always shut you up when you want to pray in tongues, and you're expected to submit.

If he does not believe in fasting, how will you submit when the time you're fasting is always when he wants to have sex with you, because he has no value for fasting?

If he doesn't believe in seed sowing, or sacrificial giving and say pastors are fraudsters, that he only gives to God by giving to charity, how will you submit? Consider these things. They're real occurrences in some marriages today.

5. MARRY A MAN WHO HEARS FROM GOD AND HEARS GOD. 

This is an easy way to submit to a man. When a man HEARS FROM GOD, he receives instructions and guidance from God, and when a man HEARS GOD, he listens to God and carry out the instructions God gives Him.

So, when you marry such a man and he comes to you and says, "God says we should do this or do that", you will gladly submit because you know he hears from God and hears God. Even if God did not expressly tell him to do something, you know that he is in synch with the Holy Spirit and He won't tell you lies. 

Many times my husband will come and say to me after his communion with God that God wants us to give to this person or to sow this seed, sometimes it doesn't make sense to me because at that time, the money we have is "plenty", but I still submit to what God has said. Because I trust that He hears from God and hears God. 

6. MARRY A MAN WHO IS NOT A LIAR. 

Believe me, it'll be extremely difficult to submit to a man who is a chronic liar. Can you submit to a man who you know lies to everyone and lies constantly to you? If he comes and tell you, "God says we should use your salary this month to set up a business for my mum." Will you submit your salary knowing he could be lying? How about if he says you should stop working and stay at home to take care of the kids and says he will buy you everything you need whenever you need it (and he's not earning so much)? Can you submit knowing that that may not be his true intent?

7. MARRY A MAN THAT LOVES YOU.

This is because the Scripture instructs men to love their wife and the wife to submit to her husband, so if you marry someone who loves you it will be much easier for you to submit to him because of the love he'll lavish on you. It is often said that a woman does not struggle to submit when she's loved right. This is true.

8. MARRY A MAN WHO HAS A VISION YOU CAN SUBMIT TO. 

In other words, marry a man who knows where he is going. It is easy to submit to a man who knows where he is going. But submitting to a man who has no clue why he is on earth and what he should be doing with his life is a difficult thing to do. 

God made you a helpmeet. The word 'helpmeet' in its original meaning means AN ANSWER TO. So the man must have a clear and definite vision he has set or is pursing that you'll gladly submit to and help him actualize, and in faithfully doing that, have your own assignment fulfilled.

Shalom.

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