The Lie About Abstaining From Sex Till Marriage || by Precious C Philip
Gloria and Davidson were Christians who eschewed premarital sex in their relationship before marriage. They made sure they never engaged in sexual immoral acts in their courtship period. However, their motive for abstaining from sex in their relationship was that they believed, by abstaining from premarital sex, they'll have a successful, joyful and peaceful marriage. So, they both chose abstinence with the hope of being rewarded with a good marriage by God. Few months after their wedding, things turned upside down and their marriage became sour. Their marriage was inundated with disagreement, fighting, name-calling, quarreling, malice, strife, abuse,... They both wondered why their marriage was collapsing; so, they sought counselling - and with the intervention of God, they were directed to a Christian couple who opened their eyes to a deep truth they were oblivious to. They realised that abstaining from sex till marriage is a godly act that honors God, but it is never a guarantee from God that one will have a good, joyful, peaceful and hitch-free marriage. God never promised in the Scripture that if you abstain from premarital sex, you'll automatically have a good, lasting marriage. Gloria and Davidson understood that obedience to God in abstaining from premarital sex contributes to having a good marriage but does not entirely guarantee that a marriage will be good, because it does not work alone to produce a sweet marriage; it works together with some other factors to build a good, lasting marriage. They were misguided by the fallacy: "Abstaining from premarital sex will make you have a good marriage."
Dear reader, learn from the story of Gloria and Davidson. A lot of Christians today believe that abstaining from premarital sex automatically gives you a good marriage. That is a lie from the devil! There are a lot of other factors that contributes to making a marriage good, great, pleasurable, and long-lasting, such as: having adequate knowledge of what marriage is, choosing the right partner, being matured (spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally and financially), possessing godly wisdom and understanding, partnering with the Holy Spirit, understanding the responsibilities of the husband, the wife and the children, learning how to raise godly children, attending marriage conferences and premarital counselling, learning the importance of communication, selflessness, forgiveness, affection and sexual satisfaction in marriage etc. If these factors are ignored and premarital sex is avoided, a marriage will still have many issues. Because the Scriptures clearly says "Good homes are built on wisdom and understanding." Proverbs 24:3
Therefore, if you desire to have a good home and a lasting marriage, don't just avoid premarital sex alone, also do all it takes to have a good home and a lasting marriage.
Critics of Christians who abstain from sex till marriage usually say things like, "Many of those who abstain from sex before marriage end up with bad marriages while most of those who engage in sex before marriage end up with good marriages", but nothing could be further from the truth, because NO MAN CAN BE WISER THAN GOD. He is called THE ONLY WISE GOD; even the foolishness of God is wiser than man's "wisdom". From the story of Gloria and Davidson, we see the reason why some Christians who married as virgins or who abstained from premarital sex are not enjoying their marriage -they erroneously thought and believed that by abstaining from premarital sex, they'll automatically have a good marriage. But they were deceived. A good home is built with a lot of materials, not just one material. A good marriage is consciously and diligently built. You must work it out.
Key note: Abstaining from premarital sex does not assure you a good marriage; it only contributes to you having a good marriage. A good home and a lasting marriage is consciously prepared for and is diligently built by both parties involved. Moreover, abstaining from premarital sex is not just what God commands, He demands SEXUAL PURITY from us, which encompasses abstinence from sex till after marriage and abstention from all sexual immoral acts, before and after marriage.