HANDLING SEXUAL URGES AS A SINGLE PERSON ~ Precious Victor Akah

Every healthy person experience sexual urges. 

Sex hormones generally increase beginning in adolescence. This hormone rise starts at a different time for each individual. Generally speaking, puberty occurs between the ages of 9 and 15.

Now when people start experiencing this hormone rise marked by the desire to have sex or engage in amorous relationship with the opposite sex, some try to gratify it, and so they start to explore sex with the opposite sex, or experiment with their own body by masturbating; some others resort to watching porn, sexting with a lover, or lusting. 

But the problem with satisfying this sexual urges very early (and before marriage) by engaging in sex, watching porn, masturbating or lusting or even practicing homosexuality is that it doesn't instantly come to a halt the moment you're married. It continues and even gets worse in marriage. You would start struggling with being faithful to your spouse (by not engaging in extra-marital sex, not watching porn, not masturbating, and not lusting after the opposite sex). This is where many then realize that satisfying your sexual desires very early and in the wrong way has very great consequences.

Besides struggling with faithfulness to your spouse in marriage, you stand the chance of contracting various sexually transmitted diseases and infections by having sexual relations with different people, even with protection, you're not guaranteed 100% safety. So, be cautious.

Well, the purpose of this blog post is to show you (practicable, safe and godly) ways to handle your sexual urges as an unmarried person. This is a Christian blog, and so we stand on the teachings of the Bible commanding every child of God to practice SEXUAL PURITY (stay chaste till marriage).

Now how can someone who genuinely wants to refrain from sex till marriage or abstain from all sexual filths (pornography, masturbation, lust, homosexuality, sexting) actually practice SEXUAL PURITY and have their sexual urges under complete control? 

This is what I practically did as a child of God with a strong desire to live sexually pure: I did what Jesus did to overcome the devil's temptations: HE USED THE WORD OF GOD. I took some time to find out and write down in a paper all the scriptures related to SEXUAL PURITY. After searching them out and writing them down, I memorized as many as I could. One of my favourite scripture then was 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8. 

Anytime the urge came, I would confront and rebuff it with those scriptures I have stored in my heart. I would recite them in my head repeatedly, and sometimes, depending on the environment I'm in, I would shout them and confess them to my body. Other times, I would pick up my Bible if I'm alone in my room and start quoting all those scriptures I had written down, and it helped me in no small way.

Another thing I did whenever the urge came is to speak in tongues for few minutes, and afterwards, find a godly activity to distract myself with, like watching a Christian movie, playing a Christian praise or worship song and sing and dance to God, or find a sermon on YouTube on marriage to listen to (because I love learning about marriage and relationships).

Other times, I would make bold declarations in the Name of Jesus and say, "I command you sexual urge in the Name of Jesus (placing my hand on my body) to stop", and I would plead the Blood of Jesus over my body. I would also speak to my body and say, "Body, be calm, it is not yet time to have and enjoy sex. You'll have it plenty to your satisfaction when I'm married." These acts brought calmness and a release for me many times.

Also, I sometimes would call a female friend over the phone at such times to chitchat and distract my mind, and as we start chatting, the urge disappears. Picking up a non-romantic book or going out to spend time with friends of same-sex does help too. And when the urge comes while sleeping at night, stand up and take a glass of warm water and go back to bed or play a worship song and sing till you sleep.

During my quiet time or morning devotion, I would always pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help me control my sexual urges. I would receive strength from Him and wisdom to do the right thing when the urge comes and never act foolishly. I never joked with this prayer at all. 

One thing you must know, however, is, if when the urge comes, you decide to do nothing about it, believing it'll go away soon, it can get worse, because your mind will surely be on sex at that time, and the longer you delay to put it out by doing any of these things I mentioned above, the weaker you become, and the moment you become too weak to resist the urge, you'll find yourself down in a grossly immoral act.

So, you must be quick to address the urge when it comes and repel it.

These things I continued to do to manage and control my sexual urges until I got married. I did make some mistakes when I wasn't very careful enough, but the Lord being gracious and merciful forgave me. So, if you've ever made mistakes in your striving to live a sexually pure life, don't beat yourself up or give up trying, I didn't give up. I went back to the Holy Spirit and apologized and received forgiveness and rose up to continue striving for sexual purity. Therefore, rise up too, apologize to God and continue your striving to live sexually pure. 

Every child of God has been called to live sexually pure: the unmarried (single), the married, the virgin, the non-virgin, the child, teen, adult, male and female. We have all been commanded to live sexually pure: "It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,..."1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

So, as a child of God, ensure you're obeying this command from your heavenly Father. It is actually not for His good, but for your own good. I've been married since 2021, and I can tell you that it pays greatly to live sexually pure as a single person. You may not fully observe, understand and enjoy the benefits of sexual purity before marriage (as a single person), but the moment you get married, you'll fully understand the wisdom of God in commanding all His children to abstain from sexual immorality.

Live holy. Live a sexually pure life. Exercise the fruit of self-control the Holy Spirit produces in you daily (over your sexual urges).

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." 1 Corinthians 10:13

Shalom.

I look forward to your testimony from this blog post.

You can reach us via email: preciouscphilip@gmail.com or on Facebook @ Precious Victor Akah

Stay blessed.

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