WHY STAY CHASTE TILL MARRIAGE ~ Precious Victor Akah

I could guess that when you saw the title of this blog post, three things immediately came to your mind: (1) They're talking about not having sex until marriage (2) They're talking about virginity (3) The post is addressed to the female gender. 

Well, it's not exactly so. Yes, in our present society, a lot of people brag about being celibate till marriage: "Oh, I've been celibate for 4 years and still counting." Sadly, even Christians do this, because they think being chaste and being celibate is the same thing, but it is not so. Being celibate is strictly avoiding sexual intercourse until marriage. While being chaste till marriage is not indulging in unlawful sexual activity until marriage (this includes, sexting, watching pornography, exchange of nude pictures, smooching, masturbation, lust, homosexuality, fornication (pre-marital sex) and all forms of unlawful or illicit sexual acts. 

What's more? Being chaste continues in marriage. In other words, being chaste is a lifetime thing, not a one-time thing, nor what you only do until you get married. You stay chaste till marriage and continue being chaste as a married person till you leave this earth. This is the life God has called us to - a life of sexual purity - as children of God.

You can be a virgin and be chaste and you can be a non-virgin and be chaste too. Chaste means pure and virtuous. It also means "not having sex", but does not mean "not having had sex before". Yes, you may have made regrettable mistakes before you came to Jesus, or even as a Christian you made some great mistakes, but now that you've realized your wrong, you can choose to start living right and being chaste because that is what God expects from you the moment you come to the knowledge of the truth. 

A celibate man or woman can avoid sexual intercourse but still be sexually active, in the sense that, he or she is still masturbating, watching porn, sexting, lusting, smooching with the opposite sex etc. But a chaste man or woman avoids all of this. He or she is sexually pure in their mind and thoughts, sexually pure in their body, and pure in their spirit. No room for pollution at all.

Again, a chaste man or woman can be a virgin or a non-virgin. Losing your virginity in the past does not disqualify you from embracing a lifestyle of chastity. It is not too late to be chaste. You can start now. You can decide and say to yourself, "I'm not going to have pre-marital sex again with anyone until marriage. I'm not going to watch porn again. I'm not going to masturbate again. I'm putting a stop right now to this sexting and exchange of nude pictures and videos with my fiance/fiancee." Yes, you can! And if you do, you will be so pleased you took this step in few months and years to come. Believe me.

When a man or woman decides to stay chaste till marriage, there are many amazing benefits which we will share with you in this blog post today, and when an individual chooses not to be chaste, there are consequences too.

Having said that, why do we even choose to be chaste till marriage? Well, this is a Christian blog, and our number one reason for choosing this lifestyle of chastity is, it is a command from God and it is the will of God for all His children. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (NIV) says: It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit."

So, that is why we choose a lifestyle of chastity as children of God. If you're not yet a child of God, the first thing you need right now is not a decision to stay chaste till marriage, but the decision to become a child of God by faith in Jesus Christ and repentance of your sins. Then you will receive the Holy Spirit, and right after that, the sudden desire to live a chaste life will consume you. And because you already have received the Holy Spirit, the power and the grace and ability to live this kind of life will be daily supplied to you by the Holy Spirit. So why not go ahead right now and say yes to Jesus and make Him your Lord and Saviour.

I believe you have done that; congratulations on becoming a child of God. Now let's discuss the benefits of STAYING CHASTE TILL MARRIAGE. In other words, why should we abstain from all unlawful sexual acts till marriage?

1. To guard your sanity and keep your memories pleasant. A lot of people today are not enjoying their spouse because anytime they want to get sexual with their spouse, thoughts of previous sexual relations with different people immediately overwhelm their mind and corrupt or interrupt their present sexual experience or relations with their spouse. They keep battling with the memories of the past that seems not to go away. They are not able to derive sexual satisfaction from intimacy with their spouse because he or she doesn't seem to meet up with their former or previous sexual experiences. To maintain your sanity and enjoy your memories and even enjoy sex with your spouse, embrace chastity till marriage. 

2. To derive sexual satisfaction from ONLY your spouse. Some married persons are starving their spouse sexually because before they got married, they were masturbating and watching porn to get sexual satisfaction, this habit they sadly took into their marriage. Now, they cannot satisfy nor give maximum pleasure to their spouse because they get their satisfaction from porn and masturbation. Addiction to porn and masturbation in marriage will deny both parties the ability to enjoy the fun of sex in marriage. When you keep yourself from these impure things, God in His faithfulness and goodness will also give you someone who has kept himself or herself from these things, and when you both come together, you enjoy sex as a married couple.

3. To maintain a healthy body, soul and spirit, and to avoid pregnancy outside of wedlock and/or single parenting.

STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) and STDs (Sexually Transmitted Demons) are still being transmitted today through sexual intercourse and other sexual activities. The possibility of getting pregnant out of wedlock is very high when you're sexually active before marriage, and raising a child alone is not an easy work. It'll cost you a whole lot you never put into consideration. God's plan is for you to get married and raise godly children with your spouse, so that the children have proper upbringing and are well nurtured and nourished with the love of a father and of a mother.

Well, the benefits of staying chaste till marriage are almost endless. Hear from these blessed women below:

FAVOUR CHUKWUDINOBI

It's true that the world doesn't celebrate chastity (abstaining from immoral life). In as much as there are people who regard sex outside marriage as a norm, it still doesn't count out the fact that great brunts are attached to it.

Though we are surrounded by people with fallacious and corrupted idea about sex, we should always put before us a polychromed picture of why we should stay chaste till marriage, which is:

1. To retain your honor. ‭(Proverbs 5:8-9)

"Remove your way far from her, And do not go near the door of her house, Lest you give your honor to others, And your years to the cruel one".

No matter where you go in life, you'll always be helped or favoured one way or another through recommendation. If you're identified as a man or woman who is promiscuous or is known for having sexual relations with others, you may lose out on opportunities like a good job, promotion, a good husband or wife, etc. Chastity conserves your honor—value, respect and excellence. It puts you in a very high esteem before people.

2. It preserves you from contamination and attacks.

When you share a precious and valuable asset to the public, that valuable thing stands a high risk of wearing out and being debased. That's what sex outside marriage helps you avoid. Your soul, emotions, and psychological health are very precious valuables to you. Don't you know that you take pieces of each person you have sex with (even the spirits they are possessed with)?

There is no promiscuous person that doesn't have loads of problems, and at least 90% of their problems would be as a result of the effects of what they got from their sex partners.

Additionally, having sex outside marriage hampers your emotional and psychological health. When trying to heal from Mr. A's soul tie, you're looking for Mr. B's to attach to. That's adding more problems to yourself on top of the exiting one.

See what Proverbs 5:15-17 says about this:

[15] Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. 

[16] Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 

[17] Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you.

When you are married to your OWN, there won't be a need for healing or fear of break up, or risk of contracting strange things from strangers. You're safer because you don't drink nor eat from the streets (sex outside marriage).

3. It keeps you from drying up physically, spiritually and financially.

Not only do you stand a chance of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and infections which is detrimental to your health when you have sex outside marriage with different partners or even one partner, it also affects your finances. The Bible says, ‭"Lest aliens be filled with your wealth, And your labors go to the house of a foreigner." (Proverbs 5:10). Sexual immorality steals more than the pleasure it gives. 

Therefore, I implore you to make the decision to stay chaste till marriage no matter the pressure.

LIZZY ISINKA 

Sex is a beautiful thing created by God to build bond, bliss and harmony in marriages, therefore, it is worthy of note that sexual desires are not evil, however, the inability to control them until the appropriate time which is marriage, becomes evil. 

What you couldn't do before marriage becomes more difficult to do after marriage, marriage magnifies your flaws, if you couldn't stay chaste before marriage chances that you may cheat when your partner doesn't live up to your expectations are high, the devil knows how to present you the opportunity.

Sex is a soul-tie, if you understand this concept, you will be extremely mindful of who you get intimate with, and you will treat sex as sacred because it is. Sex is the only system established by God to bind the spirit, soul, and body of a man and a woman, this is why most couples begin to look alike after spending so many years together.

Guard your heart with all diligence, the things you allow into your mind either promote sexual purity or sexual drives, your eyes and ears are your mind's windows, be selective about the contents you consume on social media. You can't establish sexual purity until there is a desire and firm decision to do so, others are staying chaste don't be deceived, you too can stay chaste till marriage.

Let's also discuss few possibilities of unchastity before marriage:

Firstly, you don't want to get married tomorrow and realize that your husband's brother, friend or even father once had carnal knowledge of you in the past, these kind of things are very common, and trust me, the feeling is awful, because your memory will not spare you, that is all you will remember whenever you see this person, and it is a shameful thing.

Secondly, you don't want to get married and on your wedding night, the one thing that should be the most pleasurable, beautiful and exciting activity for you and your spouse is something you both have already explored prior to that time, and as such, it is not new. I cannot overemphasize the importance and magnitude of pleasure derived from conjugal intimacy as intended by God, the feeling is heavenly.

Thirdly, if for some reason, your courtship or relationship does not lead to marriage, you definitely want to walk out of that relationship with your prestige, honour and dignity, because the most painful aspect of a broken relationship sometimes is not the time or emotions invested, it is the fact that you and the fellow had been sexually involved. When your fiancé has known you in a way that only a husband should, breakup becomes very painful and unbearable, some ladies even attempt suicide. 

You can't keep a man with sex, else all the prostitutes and hook-up girls would all be married. A man who never knew his wife carnally because she firmly decided to wait till marriage is always so proud of such a woman, please do not entertain the fallacy about not being exciting on bed when you are inexperienced, it's a lie from the pit of hell, there are books out there to learn from when the time is right.

Stay blessed.

MILICENT SUNDAY 

Chastity before marriage gives many benefits like decreased chance of psychological damage from expressing intimacy without commitment, unwanted pregnancies, freedom from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and an increase in mental stability.

1. Psychological trauma is an emotional response caused by severe distressing event that are outside the normal experience. Involving in sex before marriage (no commitment) is wrong. How are you so sure that it will lead to marriage? When it goes the other way round, not leading to marriage, or break up to start a new relationship, you feel very bad, like you've been used and dumped. Starting a new relationship or keeping new one becomes difficult because you will always be on guard for danger and have difficulty concentrating on the relationship.

The best is to stay clear and clean, to avoid overwhelming guilt or shame (living in regret). You're scared, this too will end the same way (and you start thinking, all guys are the same, all girls are the same).

2. Unwanted pregnancy

Abortion is a frequent consequence of unintended pregnancy, which can result to serious long-time negative health effects, including infertility and maternal death. Come to think of it, why will you go for an exam you are not interested in the results? That's too bad and it's a sign of unseriousness which brings us back to commitment (marriage). Sex is good for marriage (you're sure and ready for the results).

Many young people end up in a wrong marriage for this single act. It's better to stay away from sex till marriage and face your future, than having sex and being scared of getting pregnant.

3. Freedom from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Being chaste till marriage saves you from looking for how to cure infection, and sometimes, it might be a life-long treatment.

4. Increase in Mental Stability 

A sense of having maximum control of your thoughts and actions. A sense of general well-being is what you get.

Love is more than sexual fulfillment and marriage is a life-long covenant. God wants us to be pure during and after marriage. 

Having sex doesn't make one impure, but sex has its proper context called marriage, and misusing it, is dangerous.

The opposite of purity is pollution which is bad for our well-being.

Shalom.

PRINCESS CHIAMAKA

The Bible teaches that marriage is a sacred institution between a husband and wife legally married, and that sexual intimacy should be reserved for that relationship alone.

Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled, but the whoremongers and adulterers, God will judge...."

A marriage bed can be defiled in several ways, such as fornication, adultery, homosexuality etc.

It is important to note that the Bible teaches that marriage is a covenant, and a man and woman should have no problem entering into a covenant with one another, if they want the benefits that come with marriage, such as sexual intimacy.

Here are some bible verses that better explains this:

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against their own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. (Ephesians 5:3)

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4)

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Timothy 2:22)

Sexual purity is an important aspect of our relationship with God and with others. It's essential to prioritize holiness and honor in our thoughts, words, and actions, and to seek help and support when needed.

Thank you for reading. We believe this has blessed you a great deal, if so, please share this with people around you, especially teenagers.  

God bless you and stay chaste.

Check out our previous post: WHEN A GUY LOVES YOU