WHEN A GUY LOVES YOU ~ Precious Victor Akah

Genuine love possess self-control, patience, respect, and sexual purity.

Reading the story of Jacob and Rachel, I observed few things about genuine love I'll be sharing with us in this blog post.

Jacob loved Rachel and desired to marry her, so he served Laban (her father) seven years to get her which seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

I could tell Jacob genuinely loved Rachel because, within those seven years he served her father, he did not sleep with her (have sexual relations with her) even though they all lived together as a family because Laban. For seven good years, he did not touch her. He respected and honored her body. 

How did I know? See what Jacob said: "After the seven years, Jacob said to Laban, “My time is fulfilled; give me your daughter so that I may marry her and sleep with her." Genesis 29:21

In other words, the seven years was over, and Jacob asked Laban to make good on his end of the deal: Give me your daughter for my wife. More specifically: Give me my wife so that I may consummate the arranged marriage, indicating that Jacob and Rachel had remained chaste during those seven years.

If he was sleeping with her, he wouldn't have said what he said; and if they were sleeping together, I'm sure he probably won't agree to serve Laban for another seven years (altogether 14 years) to marry Rachel. He would have quit because he had already slept with her.

And, this love was strong and genuine because, even when Laban demanded that he must work for him for another seven years before he could finally have Rachel as his wife, he did not give up on Rachel. He agreed and worked for another seven years and married Rachel.

WHAT DO WE LEARN FROM THIS?

Sisters, a man who genuinely loves you will fulfil moral and legal/traditional obligations and follow biblical standards and laws to make you his wife. He will do everything your biological/foster parents and/or spiritual parents requires (that does not contradict God's laws and will) to make you his wife. 

He won't elope with you because your parents made some demands he doesn't want to fulfill, neither will he steal you from your parents and bring you to his house to cohabit with him and give birth to children for him without paying your bride price and marrying you properly and lawfully.

Also, he will not rush to sleep with you, neither will he mount pressure on you to give him your body before making you his wife. Like Jacob waited for 14 years, he will wait for as long as it takes to make you his wife FIRST before sleeping with you.

Jacob said, "...give me your daughter so that I may MARRY her and SLEEP with her." Genesis 29:21. MARRY her first, then SLEEP with her afterwards. Marriage first before sleeping together or having sex.

And to my brothers, like Jacob, if you genuinely love a woman, the proof will be seen in your ability to do everything required by God and demanded by her parents to make her your wife, and also by your patience to wait till she has become your wife to get sexual with her.

Are you self-disciplined? Do you have self-control? Jacob was in love with Rachel, yet he did not misbehave for 7 years with her, even up to 14 years, he still was patient because he needed to do things right before God and prove that he genuinely loves her. Did he experience sexual urges during those 7 years? He sure did. But, he controlled it towards Rachel. He disciplined himself.

Sisters, how firm are you on your values, godly standards and morals? You know, I believe Rachel observed that Jacob loves her and is interested in marrying her, especially after the first seven years when He asked Laban to give Rachel to him, yet, she did not misbehave by throwing herself at Jacob or getting sexual with him or even eloping with him. She respected herself and waited until Jacob did all her father required of him and then he could have her as his wife. 

Honor and respect your parents and don't become disrespectful and rude to them because you're in a hurry to marry a certain guy and they're asking you to be patient for the guy to do what they require him to do traditionally. So far as the traditional requirements (like paying bride price) does not dishonor God or go against His Word in any way, patiently allow them do what they want. Honor your parents so that you'll live long to enjoy your marriage.

Genuine love possess self-control, patience, respect, and sexual purity; all these Jacob portrayed in his love for Rachel. Check for these qualities when a guy professes love for you. 

And as a man, you need to exhibit these qualities towards the woman you profess to genuinely love. If you love her, these qualities must be present.

Shalom.

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