Men Always Ask Me For Sex Before Marriage. What do I do? by Precious C Philip

I've seen a lot of Christian ladies who desire to marry constantly complain that the men who approach them for relationship always ask for sex before marriage. These ladies express their displeasure because they think the men approaching them are the problem. They believe the men are the problem. But this might shock you: IT IS NOT EVERY LADY THAT MEN ASK FOR SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. Even those men that ask for sex before marriage, it is not every lady they can walk up to and make such demand or request. So for men to have the boldness to ask you for sex before marriage as a Christian lady, something is wrong somewhere. What can be wrong? Let's explore. 

"If you refuse to learn, you are hurting yourself. If you accept correction, you will become wiser."Proverbs 15:32

Men will always, always respect a lady who respects herself. A lady who has no respect for herself will also always receive disrespect from men. If you call yourself a Christian yet your dressing doesn't portray you're a Christian - your boobs, thighs, stomach, cleavage, and other alluring parts of your body are always exposed in the clothes you wear and in the pictures and videos of yourself you post on social media, sister, any man that approach you will have the confidence to ask you for sex because your dressing signals to him that you're either sexually active, or you're ok with premarital sex, or you're desperate to find a husband which is why you're ostentatiously displaying your body to attract men. This might not be the real message you're trying to send or your motive for dressing the way you do, but sis, men reason differently and men see things in a different manner- and this is how majority of them decode the message you're sending with your style of dressing. Every style of dressing a lady adopts sends a peculiar message to a man's mind. It's rare for a godly lady who dresses decently to be approached by men who will have the boldness to demand or ask for sex before marriage. You cannot be wearing transparent clothes that reveals your boobs and stomach, or be always dressed up in mini skirts and bum shorts and expect to attract men who have self-control and mastery over their libido to be able to exercise patience till after marriage to have sex. 

"The wise accept instruction, but fools argue and bring trouble on themselves." Proverbs 10:8

Besides, if with indecent dressing you fortunately attract a man with self-control, believe me, your seductive dressing will make him lose control over his sex drive, and before you know it, he's asking you for sex. If you don't want premarital sex, then don't tempt him with seductive dressing; he's not a machine, but a human being with feelings. Don't send him pictures of you in revealing clothes or skimpy clothes because you want him to appreciate your sexy figure. Don't "stylishly" flaunt or draw his eyes to your boobs, thighs, hips, tummy, and backside when having a video call. Don't wear sexy clothes when he comes visiting or when you go visiting him. Dress properly. Avoid tempting him in any way with your body or dressing. Don't tempt him to ask for sex. Cover your body well until he becomes your husband and then you can flaunt your body before him. Avoid touching him in an improper manner. Avoid engaging in non-sexual activities with him: kissing, smooching, heavy petting, fondling, caressing etc. Respect yourself and he'll respect you. Respect the relationship and he'll respect the relationship. 

"To accept correction is wise, to reject it is stupid." Proverbs 12:1

Moreover, dressing is not the only thing to be given consideration. What kind of lifestyle are you living as a professing Christian? Sadly, if you're the kind of lady who parties a lot, attend night clubs, drink and smoke, you'll definitely attract men who want/ask for sex before marriage. Because if you do these things above that is contrary to the commandments of God, to them, premarital sex won't be a big deal. 

"Fools think they know what is best, but a sensible person listens to advice." Proverbs 12:15

Another thing to be considered is your speech. How godly is your speech and the words that come out of your mouth? What kind of conversations and discussions do you engage in? What kind of jokes do you crack or even share on your social media accounts? What kind of messages, posts, and videos do you share on social media? If you're the type of lady that shares and tells vulgar jokes, use obscene words/slangs, shares pictures, posts and videos that directly or indirectly promote, encourage and support premarital sex or cohabitation, you'll surely attract men who do not value sexual purity because your speech, lifestyle, and activities on social media gives them the impression that you do not value sexual purity. Heed the instructions of Paul in Ephesians 5:3-4 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. It's not right that dirty stories, foolish talk, or obscene jokes should be mentioned among you either. Instead, give thanks [to God]."

Lastly, what is your character like? What kind of character do you portray on social media and what kind of character do you display outside social media? Do you possess and display a godly character publicly and privately? Or you're the kind of lady who goes live on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media pages to twerk, shake your butt, and flaunt your tummy, boobs, cleavage and thighs for the world to see? Such ignoble and unvirtuous acts will certainly attract wrong men to you - who can boldly demand or ask for sex before marriage without shame and fear. Always remember "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised." Proverbs 31:30

So, if the men who approach you are "always" demanding for sex or requesting for sex before wedding, the problem lies with you. Don't get offended.đŸ™‚ I believe you want this sad occurrence to stop reoccurring, so accept the truth and change. A mature person accepts the truth and change. "...whoever receives correction is prudent (Proverbs 15:5b)." The men are not the problem dear sister. Yes, you want to settle down; you want to marry, you want a godly man, but are you godly yourself? This is not whether you're a Christian or not. You may be a "Christian" but does your dressing, speech, character, and lifestyle you live portray that you are a Christian? Are you living a godly life? Being willing to marry is not the same as being ready to marry. You can be willing and not be ready. 

How do I get ready? The key to attracting the right kind of man you want is first being the right kind of lady such a man would be attracted to. Dress decently. Speak with wisdom and grace. Live a godly lifestyle. Possess and portray godly character; finally, let the world know on your social media platform what you stand for: sexual purity, no sex before marriage. Be bold enough to say it, support it, uphold it, encourage it, take a stand for it and spread it. When you do, men who're prepared to wait until after marriage to copulate with their partner will find you. 
Always remember: TO THE WORLD, WHAT YOU'RE ASHAMED TO UPHOLD OR AFRAID TO DECLARE YOU DON'T REALLY STAND FOR. If you stand for "no sex till after marriage", then declare and uphold it without fear or shame. 

"Pay attention to advice and accept correction, so you can live sensibly." Proverbs 19:20 

Shalom! 

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