WHY STAY MARRIED? ~ Precious Victor Akah

We wrote to singles in our last post: WHY MARRY? Today, we're writing to the married; singles can also benefit from this knowledge. 

Kindly note please that this post is exclusively for those whose marriage is established by God; that is, couples who are joined together by God, because it's not every marriage that God joins the man and the woman together.

So, I was to share in a program reasons for Christian couples to stay married. I sat down asking the Holy Spirit what to say. He took me to the book of Mark Chapter 10, and there I extracted 7 reasons you should stay married to your spouse as a Christian man/woman. 

It's a known fact that the divorce rate in the Christendom has skyrocketed in our present day - as many people rush in and out of marriage for so many reasons - which I believe has to do with lack of patience, lack of endurance, perseverance, hope, trust, kindness, forgiveness., and all these are the components of the kind of love God expects us to have and show our spouse. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 lists the components of love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...." 

As I'm writing this, someone somewhere is presently planning to divorce his or her spouse because they can't be PATIENT for their spouse to conceive and give birth to a child, or because they can't be PATIENT for their spouse who just lost his job to get a better work and start footing the bills again.

Another person is planning to divorce his or her spouse because he or she has been battling with an age-long sickness that has confined the person to a hospital bed for months and they can't continue to show him or her KINDNESS, so they want to abandon their spouse in the hospital and go be with someone else.

Yet another person is planning to divorce his or her spouse because they cheated and though they've repented and asked for forgiveness, the one who is hurt is saying he or she cannot TRUST their spouse again and they're keeping record of this wrong and refusing to let go.

And, do you know that many people have divorced their spouse because they ENVIED the bliss and prosperity of another person's marriage; because they're too PROUD to apologize and admit their wrong; because they're too pompous to HONOR their spouse; because they're SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED and SELF-SEEKING and wouldn't think of anyone else (their spouse and children) but themselves; because they're EASILY ANGERED and take rash decisions when angry; because they have refused to FORGIVE their spouse for a wrong they did, and because they've lost HOPE on their marriage, and the list continues...

These things shouldn't be so if we really understand the weight and the implication of telling someone "I love you."

Are you married and reading this and your marriage is troubled, please don't give up on your marriage too quickly, don't give up at all. Everything established by God is meant to prosper. Just give it time and follow God's blueprint for a successful marriage and it'll show in no time. 

Please read Mark 10:2-12, the Message Translation with me: "...Pharisees came up, intending to give him a hard time. They asked, “Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife?” Jesus said, “What did Moses command?” They answered, “Moses gave permission to fill out a certificate of dismissal and divorce her.” Jesus said, “Moses wrote this command only as a concession to your hard-hearted ways. 

In the original creation, God made male and female to be together. Because of this, a man leaves father and mother, and in marriage he becomes one flesh with a woman—no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart. When they were back home, the disciples brought it up again. Jesus gave it to them straight: “A man who divorces his wife so he can marry someone else commits adultery against her. And a woman who divorces her husband so she can marry someone else commits adultery.”

So, what are these 7 REASONS to Stay Married to your Spouse:

1. Because you are not hard-hearted. According to Jesus, Moses allowed the people then to divorce because of the hardness of their hearts (see verse 5.) As a born again child of God, you do not possess a hard heart but a heart filled with God's love. 

How do I know? Romans 5:5 tells us, "And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 shows us the attributes of love. Based on these attributes, there is nothing your spouse does that should be beyond forgiving when they ask for forgiveness or repent and beg for forgiveness. Be it adultery. I mean God expects you to forgive your fellow man 70x7 times a day (Matthew 18:22), how much more your spouse whom you claim to love so much?

2. Because God's original plan as seen in Jesus Word is that husband and wife should be together as long as they're living. So divorce and separation was never in the picture.

"In the original creation, God made male and female to be together." Verse 6

3. Because marriage was established by God as a covenant relationship. You don't break covenants without suffering severe consequences. Verse 6-8

4. Because you cannot successfully divorce or separate from someone you've become ONE WITH IN FLESH without having a part of them with you and leaving a part of you with them. Moving forward after a divorce is almost impossible, especially when children are involved. If you join two pieces of paper together with a glue or gum, you and I know that there is no way you can successfully separate them without having each paper parting with the residue of the other. This is how divorce is. 

"Because of this, a man leaves father and mother, and in marriage he becomes one flesh with a woman—no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity. " Verse 7-8

5. Because you'll be disobeying Jesus' command not to desecrate what God made by breaking apart the union He joined.

"Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.” Verse 9

6. You'll be charged guilty of the sin of adultery by God if you divorce your spouse to marry someone else. Verse 11-12

As long as you're guilty of adultery and living in adultery, you should know that your prayers to God are hindered.

7. God hates divorce. You should neither love nor decide to do what your Heavenly Father hates if you're truly His child. He hates divorce for a reason. And what He hates obviously cannot be good for you. See Malachi 2:16 for this.

A study showed that unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married.

Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery. So, think twice before opting for a divorce. No marriage, established by God, is beyond saving, for with God, all things are possible. Your marriage can be saved if you give God a chance to fix it His own way and are willing to do whatsoever He says you should do.

In conclusion, I have this WORD OF COUNSEL to singles who have read up to this point:

Never enter into marriage with an exit plan because that is a sure way to murder a marriage before it even starts. Having an exit plan reduces your tolerance level - you may not be able or willing to tolerate certain things from your spouse. You will be quick to use your exit plan to exit the marriage immediately your spouse does what you never expected or what you said you can never tolerate in marriage. Never enter marriage with an exit plan!

Remain blessed.

Read our previous post: WHY MARRY?