People usually say, "Premarital sex is not a big deal." But my question is: If premarital sex is not a BIG DEAL, why does it suddenly become a BIG DEAL when a person needs to walk away from a sexual relationship they've discovered is not right for them (women especially)?

Consider this story: a young woman in her early twenties started a relationship with a young man in his late twenties. After two weeks of starting the relationship, the both of them began having sexual relations. Meanwhile, the relationship had not yet been defined. The young woman believed in her heart that the young man wants to marry her, whereas the man had no intention of marrying her in his mind (he just wanted a girlfriend).

The two "love birds" continued having sex; she actually moved in to live with the man. After three years of waiting endlessly for the man to propose marriage to her, the young woman walked up to the man to ask him about their marriage plans; but the response she got horrified her. He told her he wasn't ready for marriage yet and he is not looking for a wife yet. The young woman broke down in tears; the man reached out to her and promised her that when he is ready for marriage, he will marry her, but not now. 

The young woman wiped her tears and went back home. When she got home, she laid down on her bed wondering what next to do. I was told, "Sex before marriage is not a big deal; it's a normal thing in a relationship with the opposite sex. But right now, it is very difficult for me to leave this guy and move on with my life after all the investments I have made in this relationship for three years (several sex I have had with him)."

So, I want to ask you dear reader who probably have heard the infamous saying: "Premarital sex is not a big deal if you're doing it with someone you love," this rhetorical question: why is the several sex this young woman have had with her boyfriend stopping her from making the obvious right decision to walk away from a relationship that is clearly not suitable for her? Hmmm!

Well, let's leave the young woman, she has gotten counsel. I have more thoughtful questions to ask:

If premarital sex is not a big deal, why is it preventing some people from walking away from a relationship they know deep down is deleterious to their emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual well-being?

Why is it preventing a man from leaving a woman he knows has a very bad character and will not make a good wife, but he wants to go ahead and marry her because she is good in bed and he enjoys sex with her?

Why is it preventing you from leaving that man that is beating you, abusing you verbally, hurting you emotionally, draining you physically and weakening your spiritual life, because you're wondering like the young woman in our story, "after all the investments of sex" or you're considering the fact that he satisfies you sexually?

Why is it preventing you from putting an end to that ungodly relationship that is not God's will for your life, because it is difficult to move on after giving this person your body countless number of times?

If premarital sex is not a big deal, why did it bring unwanted pregnancy with it - forcing you to kill innocent babies or to become a mother unexpectedly or a school dropout or to enter into an unplanned/early marriage?

Why did it bring STDs with it and you're now battling with gonorrhea, vaginal infection, HIV, staphylococcus or other sexually transmitted disease/infection?

Why did it bring STDs (Sexually Transmitted Demons) with it - that suddenly you've moved from being a gentle person to a violent person; from a calm person to an angry fellow; from a happy person to a bitter and sorrowful person; from someone who enjoyed good sleep to someone who has sex in dreams or is chased and assaulted by unknown beings in dreams; from a spiritual person to a carnal person; from a person who loves God to a person who is addicted to all forms of sexual immoral acts?

Why is it delaying that man you're in a relationship with from making you his wife officially and lawfully? Because he is already getting one of his needs (sexual need) that should be met in marriage satisfied without marriage, why then should he rush into marriage?

Why are you heavily overcome with guilt and shame every time you finish having premarital sex and lose boldness to approach God in prayer? Why does it reduce your self esteem and stir up self hatred in you?

Finally, why is it the fundamental reason you want to marry a man or a woman who is not compatible with you (in values, faith, vision), only that he or she is very good in bed?

The devil is extremely subtle: he tells you premarital sex is not a big deal, yet uses the same premarital sex to keep you bound in a relationship you should not be in; a relationship that is dangerous to your health, a relationship that is not God's will for your life. The very thing he tells you is not a BIG DEAL he makes a BIG REASON for you not to walk away from an abusive, unhealthy, or ungodly relationship.

Beloved, premarital sex is a BIG DEAL because it has the power to keep you bound in a relationship you should not be in, and it has the power to get you hitched with the wrong life partner and destroy your marital future.

Embrace sexual purity today! It is God's will for you and it has sweet rewards. Need help overcoming addiction to premarital sex? Help is available at www.ovcss.com


Remember to visit this blog site next week Monday for another piece that will edify you spiritually, physically, and psychologically.

Remain blessed.





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