The bad seed you may be sowing unconsciously ---------

A teenage boy once confessed that he is battling with masturbation, and any time he sees an exposed cleavage of a woman, the urge to masturbate comes on him very strongly and he most times cannot resist the urge.

This is a teenage boy who is bold enough to cry out for help; he opened up to someone because he desperately needs help. A lot of teenage boys - even adults - are having similar battles but are not willing to open up to anyone because of shame, and because they feel they can handle it on their own without an accountability partner or external help.

When I heard his confession, I had great compassion on him and that stirred me up to write this blog post. As you're reading this, you're probably thinking, as a woman, why don't he face his studies and leave social media or why don't he take his eyes off when he sees an exposed cleavage and focus on something else? Well, that's a good advice, but let me ask you a personal question, why are you still doing certain things you know you shouldn't be doing right now? Why are you still engaging in sins you know you shouldn't be practicing as a Christian woman? Why are still fornicating with that brother? Why are you still watching porn? Why are you still cohabiting with that brother? Why are you still lying to your husband? You're struggling to stop, right? Of course I know. So, that's how these teenage boys and a good chunk of men are also struggling to take their eyes off from such images.

I know they should try their best to flee from such temptations. I know they're required to avoid the triggers, but Aunty, Sister, there is something you can do to help them. Yes, there is something God expects you to do to help them so they don't have to constantly be confronted with such temptations.

What does God want you to do? Love them. Yes, genuinely love them. God instructs us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

If you love these young boys and young men, you'll not want to contribute to their shameful struggles. You'll not want to be the source of their temptation. You'll not want to be the reason they keep falling into sexual sins every now and then. 

It is selfishness that makes any woman walk around in public or take pictures and videos to post on social media with exposed cleavage - knowing the effect it has on both young and adult males. 

Sister, did you know that your breasts were fashioned by God to satisfy only ONE MAN - the man you marry, not all men?

"Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love." Proverbs 5:18-19. Those breasts were not created or given to you to be used as a tool to oppress men and abuse teenage boys. They're meant to seduce and satisfy only your husband, not to provoke all men to lust.

I live in a country where the religion of Buddhism is practiced, yet, it is uncommon to see Thai women go about publicly with exposed cleavage or breasts, except the ones who're prostitutes or 'lady-boys'. It is very rare. But it is so sad that in many countries like Nigeria where Christianity is practiced and modest dressing is commanded in the Holy Bible that spells out the standard of living for all Christians, a lot of teenage girls, single ladies and married women who claim to be Christians walk about almost naked in the name of fashion - all in a bid to look sexy and attract attention instead of respect, deliberately ignoring the command of God to love one's neighbor as yourself. It is a very shameful thing.

Aunties, sisters, mothers, young girls, I plead with you in God's Name to cover your cleavage and dress decent. You can show off your 'sexy body' to your husband, flaunt your cleavage/breasts at him, and dress to seduce him at home. But once you're about to step out of your home or to take a picture/video that you'll post on your social media platforms, always remember that there is a teenage boy or a young man somewhere (trying their best to live holy and sexually pure), who'll set eyes on you or on your picture and they could be secretly dealing with lust, porn addiction, masturbation, fornication... and you don't want to compound their problem and make it harder for them to break free from such vices - especially those already seeking freedom.

Always remember Jesus'  SERIOUS WARNING in Matthew 18:7: "What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting."

Whether you believe it or not, as a woman, your dressing - how you appear in public or on social media is either encouraging a young boy/man to live sexually pure or it is instigating them to engage in sexual immorality and encouraging them to go deeper in immorality. Even if you don't want to dress to please God or you think God doesn't deserve your respect that you should obey His command to dress modestly, have compassion and mercy on these boys and men struggling with sexual addictions that desperately wants to be free.

Please, stop sowing seeds you'll not like to reap the harvest; because everything we do (actions and words) are seeds, and they'll bear fruit, for God's word promises that seed time and harvest shall never cease as long as the earth remains. You don't want your daughter, sister, niece, cousin, to be a victim of any kind of sexual abuse, so, stop sowing seeds of sexual abuse by abusing teenage boys and oppressing adult males with your exposed cleavage, breasts, thighs, stomach, butt and other alluring parts of your body. Begin now to sow good seeds in order to reap good harvest.

I was thinking, we all complain about the high increase in rape cases in Nigeria and other parts of the world, and even some of us women curse these rapists and paedophiles, but what we don't realise is that a lot of young girls, children, and women are victims of the selfishness of their fellow women. How do I mean? When a loose man lacking self-control sees a woman indecently dressed with exposed cleavage, thighs and boobs, and gets aroused immediately, he may not be able to satisfy his lust on that woman in particular - maybe because he only saw her pictures on social media or maybe he can't walk up to her and go to bed with her willingly or forcefully. 

So what do some of these men do in the heat of the moment? They go to another female they can overpower or take advantage of to express their lust, maybe a neighbor's daughter, their sister, or a young women walking across the street (who is even decently dressed) and forcefully lay with her. What has just happened? This girl, child or woman has become a victim of another woman's selfish dressing. No sane man (I safely assume) would wake up in the morning and plan to rape a random woman that day. Our actions are always triggered by something, often our emotions. And men are aroused by what they see. So most of these rapists might have seen something somewhere - pornographic videos, nude pictures, women wearing revealing clothes etc...that either ignited or fueled the passion in them to have sex with any random woman forcefully.

I know we like to cast all the blame on men - the rapists. But we have a vital irreplaceable role to play in halting this mayhem as women. Yes, I know some men are just 'abnormal', but we cannot avoid the truth that some men have raped some women/girls/children because of this very reason.

You can't be selfish in your dressing as a woman and expect some men to not be selfish in their actions.

If you're considerate of others in your dressing, you will not give men the room to be inconsiderate. Because many men today still believe and proclaim that the reason women get sexually assaulted is because they're indecently dressed. So, let's stop dressing indecently and they'll not have the excuse of indecent dressing to give. This change starts with you. Don't wait until your neighbor, sisters, friends, start, start today and they'll join you when they see the change in you and the reason for your change of dressing. Do this also for yourself and for your loved ones because of the unchanging law of sowing and reaping.

Therefore, when next you want to dress up and go out or take a picture or a video, make sure you don't wear what can implicate another woman or girl child. Walk in love and love your neighbor. Remember that it is not all about you, and you should not be selfish in your dressing but be considerate of others.

I leave you with these scriptures below:

"Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too." Philippians 2:4 (ERV)

"Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests." Philippians 2:4 (TPT)

Shalom. Check again next week Monday for another edifying post. God bless you.


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