PREPARATION FOR A BLISSFUL HOME (2) ~ Precious Victor Akah

Building a blissful home can be likened to constructing a house, as discussed in the first post. In this endeavor, three key elements are essential:  

1. Mental Image/Picture/Vision  

2. Builder  

3. Foundation  

In our previous discussion, we explored the first element: Mental Image. Today, let's delve into the second and third elements.

Second Element: BUILDER 

As mentioned earlier, you are the architect of the blissful home you desire. However, you do not undertake this journey of building alone. Just as you would hire a real estate agent to assist in building a physical home, you must also choose between two builders for your marital home: GOD or THE DEVIL.  

While it may seem unusual to mention the devil, the reality is that some marriages are built with his influence. God created marriage, but individuals can choose to ignore His guidance and instead seek counsel from the devil, albeit indirectly. Rejecting God's counsel, guidance and blueprint for marriage means embracing the devil's, and it’s as straightforward as that.  

The troubled marriages we see around us are often the result of individuals who sought guidance from the devil. If we aspire to create blissful homes, it is only God who can help us achieve that. The devil constructs the opposite, leading to homes that eventually crumble. Therefore, as children of God, we must choose God to help us build our desired blissful home.  

Third Element: FOUNDATION  

As previously highlighted, the builder you select determines the strength and durability of your home’s foundation. If you choose God as your builder and cooperate with Him, you will create a blissful home that withstands the test of time. Conversely, rejecting God means inadvertently contracting the devil, who will construct a shaky marriage that collapses when faced with challenges.  

If you choose God to build your blissful home, you are committing to establish your marriage on the foundation of His Word. In contrast, those who align with the devil build on worldly principles. As you choose God, you have decided to root your marriage in Word-based principles (Bible based principles).

As someone whose builder is God and whose foundation is the WORD OF GOD, you must adequately prepare yourself in three crucial areas for a blissful home:  

1. Character

Since God is your builder, you must cooperate with Him to cultivate a character that aligns with biblical values. What does this character entail? It is a virtuous character that fosters a blissful home.  

a. Forgiveness: Colossians 3:12-13 states, "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."  

Forgiveness is vital for a happy, joyful, and peaceful marriage. A marriage plagued by unforgiveness, malice, fault-finding, and bitterness cannot be blissful. Entering into marriage with the understanding that your spouse and children will offend you countless times is crucial - because you must choose to forgive consistently. Unforgiveness sucks up happiness, joy, and peace from the home and hinders family progress, particularly in financial aspect. 

If you struggle with unforgiveness as a single person—finding it difficult to let go of offenses or harboring a desire for revenge—take time to pray and ask God for a heart that is slow to anger and quick to forgive.  

No marriage can be blissful where unforgiveness prevails, nor where either party is quick to anger and slow to forgive. Many have lost their spouses due to unforgiveness.  

Consider the tragic story of a husband and wife: the wife harbored anger and refused to forgive. The husband, an asthmatic, was left in the bedroom while she sulked in the sitting room. Unbeknownst to her, he was gasping for breath without his inhaler and tragically passed away before she returned to the bedroom.

Another heartbreaking tale involves a couple who lost their lives in a car crash because the angry wife attempted to wrest control of the steering wheel from her husband while driving, resulting in a fatal crash.  

We must prioritize forgiveness. More so, unforgiveness opens the door for the devil to attack the offended party (who refuses to forgive). When you live in unforgiveness, you step outside God's protection, making yourself vulnerable to various attacks from the devil: pain, accident, death, sickness, disease. Choose to forgive and seek the Holy Spirit’s help when it feels particularly challenging; He will assist you.  

Remember, forgiveness is the spiritual cord that binds you and your spouse together, keeping the devil at bay.

We will explore the remaining two areas in our next post.  

Stay tuned!